Managing illness: epic fail

One thing I am very, very, very bad at is being sick. When sickness comes to my door, I tend to deny it for a while. Then I acknowledge it grudgingly. Then I go to bed and spend hours on end being really angry about it. Finally, I admit that I’m sick and get teary and tense, thinking about (a) how much I’m scarring my children by not being with them and also by being some Victorian figure of a pale, sickly mother (‘kiss Mamma’s withered cheek, my darling, and perhaps we shall meet again if it is God’s will!”), and (b) how much I have to do that isn’t getting done. I have been ill this week and so I haven’t written a word. This particular illness, or the medicine I’m taking for it, has made me vague and confused, so I haven’t even really been able to think about my book. I have a chapter outline that hasn’t been developed beyond what I’ve already written, and only an incomplete sense of where I’m going to go next. Of course, any extended time away from the story makes it that much harder to get back in. And I was going so well! I was past 20 000 words, which is usually a bit of a milestone for me.

I’m always pressing upon my students the need for contingency plans. Life does intervene in the writing process, of course it does. But I realise that I have no such plans for myself. I am such an unforgiving taskmaster. My boss totally sucks!

5 thoughts on “Managing illness: epic fail

  1. Tell your boss to get off your back, find a good book (that someone else has written) and give yourself permission to lie abed sucking lemon popsicles till the worst of it passes. And cheer up that it’s not consumption. 🙂

  2. At least your boss cannot fire you for blogging about her or calling her a mean hag on Fb.
    Get well and get leeches.

  3. I agree with all the other comments. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to just ‘stop.’ Your kids won’t be scarred, you’ll get back into your story once you feel stronger, the universe is obviously telling you to look after yourself—-but the YOTE class still love you for struggling in on Sunday. And you made sense! Hope you’re feeling better soon, and don’t be so hard on yourself.

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