I have nothing of interest to offer you from my own thoughts, but my kids have been saying pretty funny stuff lately so, even though it’s lazy and possibly lame, I’m plagiarising it wholesale.
Luka (7): Astrid won’t kiss me!
Astrid (3): Your kisses are too wet!
Luka: I will kiss you dry as a wilted leaf!
Small obnoxious girl: I’m Emmelina Ballerina
Astrid: I’m Astrid the Viking
Astrid (after playing with a dead moth for 3 hours): Mummeeee! I brokeded my moth!
Luka (to the spider in the web above our car): I’m watching you, with your black coat and your eight legs and your many many eyes.
And my favourite:
Luka (bursting into the bathroom while I’m in the shower): Excuse me, but it’s an emergency. My new invention needs much more toilet paper.
Go on, share yours.