2011 sucked. Bring on 2012.

We’re one hinge swing away from 2012, and like all human mammals I find myself reflecting on my year. 2011 had some awesome moments, but I have to admit, dear reader, that they were sometimes cold comfort as I got used to a whole new way of being in the world. The reason, which I have hinted at here but never fully explained (being an old-fashioned girl who remembers the concept of privacy), was the breakdown of my marriage after 20 years together and the subsequent recalibration of my motherly duties to two young children. I had incredibly favourable circumstances in this regard, being financially independent and being able to remain on good terms with the kids’ dad, but it still sucked all of the joy and industry out of me. I have never been so tired, so sick, so lazy, nor so self-absorbed. The year whooshed past my ears at supersonic speed, and all I have now are the tinny echoes.

And yet, hope blooms again. Other wonderful things, both personal and professional, are already coming to be. I realise now that if you are lucky enough to live a long life, you can’t avoid bad shit happening. It’s a simple mathematical equation: the longer you are out here, the greater the chance that one of those ill winds is going to blow you no good. I am in my forties; I was probably due. And then, because I’m still out here, more fair winds may yet come my way. Damn I’m grateful to still be out here. So grateful.

So here’s to all the shit, because if you put shit on your garden it might stink for a while; but then your flowers bloom in vibrant colours.

8 responses to “2011 sucked. Bring on 2012.

  1. Glad you’re finding the beginnings of blooms in your garden Kim. Been there, done that, wondered if there were ever any seeds hidden in amidst it all & still on occasion wait to be kicked back down. 2012 as it is for so many, will be another year of huge shifts (marriage, son off to uni to name a couple).

  2. 2011 was an awful year for many of us. I’ve decided to have a ritual burning of the bad to make room for the good in 2012. (Nothing serious – just writing all the things I want to be rid of on slips of paper and burning them and then welcoming in the new.)

    Good luck to you for 2012. Hope your garden keeps blooming and thriving. x

  3. I hear you, Kim, Nicky and Katherine – seems 2011 has been a total shit year for many! I can’t wait to see the arse end of it. It’s been sad, painful and tough.

    So glad things are blooming again for you, Kim and all those vibrant colours are already beginning to reflect in the joy you give to others by simply being the beautiful you ♥

    Big hugs and may 2012 be wonderful, abundant, joyous and full of love for all of us x

  4. I love your garden analogy, Kim. Just like new growth on a plant. The old leaves die off but the new growth comes. The new leaves are often fragile and tender, tiny and soft, and all the more beautiful for that.
    May good things come to you this year!
    Jo Barrett

  5. Interestingly enough, 2011 was a pretty damn good year for me, but was so crap for everyone else. It usually swings the other way … may 2012 be effing fab for all of us🙂

  6. I love your positive outlook for the new year Kim, particularly the shit on the garden analogy! As someone who survived a divorce in my forties, raised the 2 children myself, met a new and wonderful partner who has now been with me for over a decade, I can tell you the flowers can bloom much more brightly from all that deep manure which tends to drag on your boots at the moment. May summer rains and sunshine help you and your kids grow bright and happy this year.
    Steve

  7. “here’s to all the shit, because if you put shit on your garden it might stink for a while; but then your flowers bloom in vibrant colours”

    That’s going on a t-shirt.

    If it’ll fit.

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