I’ve Seen Things You People Wouldn’t Believe

I am of the generation who saw the original Blade Runner film at the cinema. I went with my brother, and we were both a little obsessed with the world and the characters. To this day, we still quote to each other Roy’s (Rutger Hauer) “Tears in the Rain” speech. Sequels can suck. Like really, really suck (except for Terminator 2, amirite?). This sequel doesn’t suck. It’s an homage, glacially slow, iterative, leaving so much unsaid, but immersing the viewer, just as the first movie did, in strange, epic, cruelly beautiful settings that are compelling because they are just familiar enough to remind us of the here and now.


I am nowhere near a Ryan Gosling fan (he’s such a green banana), but he was perfect in this; and Robin Wright is incredible in everything she does. Few female actresses have her mixture of gravitas and humility on screen (and also, Antiope 4 eva!!!!). Return of Deckard was not the cringe I thought it would be: quite the opposite. This might be the role I’ve liked Hfo the most in. Instant classic.

Changing Nail Colour! My Life Was Not Complete!

Well I did say I’d review everything. I am an inveterate nail-biter; have been since the age of 5 when I stopped sucking my thumb. While I was once mortified to learn that only a tiny 10% of nail-biters continue into adulthood, I have now decided that as far as bad habits go, it’s a fairly mild one. I don’t smoke, take drugs, or drink much, after all (the last one depends on Kate Forsyth, whose presence is inevitably accompanied by Very Good Champagne).

So I visit a nail salon every three weeks for SNS nails (much better for you than acrylic) and I have discovered the joy of colour-changing nail polish. I mean, look at the pics! Dark purple when it’s cold, crimson when it’s warm. I’m so delighted by it that I’m always sticking my fingers into cold or warm places (minds out of the gutter please) to make it change.

And from the ridiculous to the sublime: next review will be Bladerunner 2049.


‘murican gods: genuine grown-up fantasy

Oh hell! Just finished watching this on Apple TV. If you loved the book, you’ll love the series. If you’ve never read the book, but you like the idea of genuinely adult (like R-rated, loads of bloody violence, and more than one ACTUAL PEEN) fantasy, then you also will love this. Ian McShane is immensely watchable as rumpled, scheming Mr Wednesday, and Pablo Schreiber is suitably pugilistic and sweary as Mad Sweeney the leprechaun. The pace is quiiiiite sloooooow, but it gives you time to enjoy the beautiful cinematography. It’s a headfuck, trippy af, beautiful, terrible, outlandish, over-the-top, funny, horrible, weird, and most of all UTTERLY FANTASTIC. Do watch.


The Break

The Break
Marianne Keyes

It’s no secret I’m a huge fan of Keyes. Her books have so much warmth and humour, and I’ve never been disappointed by one. But a few have stood out as clear favourites, and The Break is one of them (fyi, my other favourite is Is Anybody Out There?). I’d go so far as to say it’s required reading for any woman in her forties who is starting to feel the creeping dissatisfactions of middle age. It’s a hugely generous book, with lots of heart. While there isn’t quite as much humour as the Walsh sisters books, there were still a few moments where I laughed out loud on the plane (I’m always on a plane these days; don’t ask) and startled the person sitting next to me.

I know that critics like to dismiss Keyes as “chick lit”, suggesting there’s something trivial and fluffy about her writing (or about that whole genre really). But this book deals with deep themes about what happens to love over time, who’s responsible for children as they grow more independent, and how desire can warp judgement. And it’s a total page-turner, like all Keyes’s books. I inhaled it in three or four sittings. I don’t know how she does it, but I’m glad she keeps doing it. Five stars.

Guardians of the Galaxy II

I am a hopeless Marvel fangirl but even I didn’t think Guardians of the Galaxy was going to make a good movie. Surprise! It did. Sooo good in fact that they made a sequel. This is one of those occasions where the sequel is better than the original. Gone is the whiff of uncertainty, even apology, that the first movie had. GotGII wears its silliness proudly and provides many huge laughs (I swear, Drax’s line about the size of his turds had my daughter crying into her ice-cream with laughter for a full ten minutes). It passes the Bechdel test with a great subplot about sisters, and both Gamora and Nebula are fabulously complex characters with compelling backstories. Kurt Russell is a treat as Ego, and the final half hour had me on the edge of my (plane) seat. But Baby Groot stole the show. I thought I was going to be embarrassed by the obvious ca-yoots, but I loved him and everything about him: especially his dislike of hats. I get it, Baby Groot. I GET IT.