Not that explanations are necessary but…
I have been quiet before, but this time my inability to post was a result of me really actually truly being incapable.
As many of you may know, I am usually quite fit and active (cycling, boxing, lifting weights, pilates) but I was increasingly finding it hard to recover after workouts and some days even hard to get out of bed or wash my hair… you know, the stuff that makes one socially acceptable. My doctor sent me for blood tests and discovered I had Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, an autoimmune disorder that results in extreme fatigue. She told me to wait six weeks and test again, and in that six weeks I crashed. Badly.
It has been a very busy year. I travelled and wrote and did all the things I usually do, but in the last six weeks I have been incapable of almost everything I usually do. I’ve been on my bike maybe once. I stopped going to gym. I had heavy brain fog so have been unable to read or think or write. The only thing I’ve been good at is sleeping. I could sleep for Australia (except on those nights where my thyroid would surge hellishly back to life and leave me with palpitations and constricted lungs and so wired my brain wouldn’t shut down).
My doctor tells me it’s just bad luck, but there are other who think such auto-immune disorders bear a relationship to overwork and adrenal fatigue. Indeed, I don’t seem to know how to stop working but as workaholism is fairly socially acceptable nobody has cautioned me very harshly. I feel my exhaustion now, all the way to my marrow.
But the light at the end of the tunnel isn’t always the front of an oncoming train. My second blood test showed, predictably, that my condition had worsened and now I am taking medication. I was told that it might take up to a month to work, but after a week the fog has lifted and I don’t feel so flat. I’ve still got a long way to go to regain my pre-Hashimoto’s self, but with a little bit of self-care and kindness, I should have a terrific 2016. You’ll have to expect less of me, as I expect less of myself.
I wish you all happiness and joy for the new year. Take care of yourselves.